Okay, in Colorado:
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses: Ooooo, right off the bat I’m thinking I like Colorado. They’re my kid of wild & crazy, throw caution to the wind, living on the edge kind of people.
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited: And… they just lost my affection. BOO. Come on, Colorado, isn’t one Utah enough?
Persons may not urinate in public: Duh.
It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property: Growing up in Walnut Creek, CA. I had a friend whose family owned llamas. One time they got loose and ran around the BART station. It was awesome.
Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them: I’ve always found that alcohol is best purchased and consumed in total darkness. Turns regular old Happy Hour into a daring game of mystery and suspense.
Throwing missiles at cars is illegal: And bad form, I’d say.
Catapults may not be fired at buildings: I love that someone did this – causing a law to be passed.
Couches may not be placed on outside porches: Can we have this law everywhere? Please?
The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park: Don’t the dogs already know they’ve been impounded? Is posting it on trees supposed to shame the dogs into staying off the streets and out of the pool halls?
It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor: Weird. And, rude. Unless...
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence: Wait, which one of us can't be drunk?
It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building: What if my pack mule promises to lay off the Tequila so she doesn't puke in the elevator like last time?
It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits: Now we’re talking! Except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays: Damn. Those are the only days I really feel the need to pack heat with my spurs a clankin.
Nice try, Colorado. Not quite Stoopid enough.
Next?
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