Kitschy B-Film Festival: Barbarella

OMG. Barbarella Psychedella. Who knew???

How have I never seen more than a few clips of this before now? Seriously, I thought I'd had Happygasms in the past. But, until yesterday, I didn't know what a Happygasm was. Holy Shit. The premiere screening of my little glee-filled film festival was a smash success of ridiculously epic proportions. I cannot remember the last time I had that much fun and laughed that hard.

Where to even begin? The opening credit sequence; the music; the wardrobe changes of wonderment (I now know what I am going to dress up as for Halloween - for the rest of my life!) ; the hairy men; the flying men; the creepy children; the carnivorous dolls; the naked extras; the after sex humming; Professor Ping with the shot glass stuck to his head; the interior of the spaceship made entirely of Snuffleupagus; the way she kept tripping and rolling about helplessly... I could go on and on and on. This film is freaking BRILLIANT!!!

My personal favorites: (#1) The Excessive Machine - don't think for a second that pleasure organ is not going immediately to the top of my Christmas Wish List. (#2) The Exaltation Transference Pellet - which I thought sounded like a boring as hell substitute for good old fashioned sex until Barbarella and Dildano took one. The subsequent hair curling was magically delicious. (#3) The name Dildano. (#4) The Giant Hookah from which one can smoke The Essence of Man. Hell Yeah!!!

Best lines:

"You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?" This is SO going on my headstone. "Emily Pearson. She lived her life in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility."

"Let me adjust my tongue box." My new favorite pick up line.

"Make love? What do you mean? You don't even know my Psycho Cardiogram." My new favorite shoot him down line.

"My name isn't Pretty, Pretty. It's Barbarella." I am changing my name. From now on I want you all to call me Pretty Pretty Pearson.

"The energy cables are shrinking. You've turned them into faggots!" Oh, Honey, have I been there.

The best review came from Juiceman who, I think it's safe to say, speaks for the whole group:

"Barbella is a tender contemplation which highlights the expansive search for spiritual good, both searching the larger confines of the galaxy whilst delving deep within the caverns of one’s soul. The subtle, albeit potent idiosyncrasies of the narrative stand to shatter preconceived duties and unite the crippling weight of expectancy. But more importantly, the film had boobies in it, a lot of boobies, a lot of really nice boobies. Boobies."

And there you have it. We will try our best to find a film that tops this one but I highly doubt such a thing exists. The bar has been set.