Emily + Jesus = TLA

"[Emily,] You said something in this post that caught me off guard. I wasn't sure if you were being sarcastic or serious. You're so good at being sarcastic that we honestly can't tell the difference. You say "...believe it or not, Jesus really is my friend."

A) Is this sarcasm? if so, bravo! Well played.
B) if you're serious-- I am surprised and puzzled... and can you explain your thoughts and feelings regarding "Jesus"?

It was my assumption, based on my long-time reading of this blog, that you were no longer a believer in the magical man in the sky. Perhaps you have long felt differently but never chose to discuss your personal feelings on Jebus.

I am not criticizing you If you are a believer, I just am confused by it. The open-minded, free-spirited, irreverent, sex-toy-selling, self-emancipated recovering Mormon that I have grown to love on this blog does not at ALL seem like the Jesus-loving type. Am I crazy?

Please enlighten us! We love you so much."

Oh man, you're going to make me write about my coochie aren't you? Well, shit...

Okay, first of all, of course I was being sarcastic. I will always poke sarcastic fun at the weird things humans do - especially when it comes to God and Jesus and religion. But that doesn't mean I wasn't also being serious. Yes, Jesus really is my friend.

He is my friend simply because he is. As a concept, he was my enemy for a very long time due to some ways he got seriously fucked up in my childhood. I worked unbelievably hard to heal that and when I was an adult, and Mormon, I fell in love with the notion that Jesus was a man that actually loved me and, because of that love, was willing and capable of grabbing a whip, overturning tables and kicking the shit out of those that had violated the temple of my soul. The thought of him has brought healing and peace and joy to my soul more times in my life than I can count. That is what a friend does.

But, he is more than just a thought. Yes, I am a believer. For many reasons I believe, and have experienced, that life continues after we are no longer in these bodies. And, yes, I believe that the spirit that was Jesus on this earth does exist. Do I believe that he died on the cross for the sins of the world? No. Not in the way I was taught. Those that believe in the traditional Christian Atonement and Crucifixion would call that blaspheme. I promise it's not. The ways in which I am coming to understand the teachings and life and what we call the atonement of Jesus Christ is more beautiful than anything I was ever taught in any church. And the day will certainly come when I will share some of that understanding publicly - but today ain't that day.

There is still so much that I just flat out don't know. It is my intention one day, hopefully sooner than later, to carve out some time to do an in depth study of the life and teachings of Christ. Who he really was, and could have been, historically and politically as well as what he taught and achieved spiritually. That period in my life is something I really look forward to. Almost as much as the day I have time for porn.

It is the statement "The open-minded, free-spirited, irreverent, sex-toy-selling, self-emancipated recovering Mormon that I have grown to love on this blog does not at ALL seem like the Jesus-loving type," that I really want to address. Somehow religious people have decided that someone who loves God or Jesus or has any kind of a spiritual life has to look and behave a certain way. That right there is the notion that I am more than willing and happy to violently blow out of the water.

Guess what? I promise you that it is possible to love God and the word asshead at the same time. That one can praise Jesus and shoot Tequila and sell sex toys without skipping a beat. Not only is it possible to be irreverent and spiritually alive at the same time, it is almost a prerequisite. The more I discover the God of my soul, the more open-minded, free-spirited and self-emancipated I become.

We humans get so caught up in what things are supposed to "look" like we end up living someone else's version of ourselves. If you're gay you have to look like this. If you're straight, you have to look like this. If you're a woman you have to look like this. If you're a man you have look like this. If you're black you have to behave this way. If you're white, you check that box and stand with that group. If you're artistic, smart, handicapped, blond... you have to behave a certain way, think a certain way, be like the others that share the same story as you.

Be yourself - whatever that means and looks like. Who the hell cares what others think? Stand before God, naked and exposed exactly as you are and choose to be, and I promise you will be celebrated. Do the same with yourself and I guarantee fireworks and choirs of angels.

So, there you have it. Is Emily Pearson a Jesus-loving believer? Fuck yeah.

End of peep show.