Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sssssssoooooo Not Relaxing

"Some people like the feel of non-poisonous reptiles slithering across their bodies in spa-like settings, with larger, heavier snakes providing a deeper kneading as they crawl across flesh." (Quoted from some lame article I read. )

Okay, I am sorry... I have entered one of the busiest periods of my life. I am working 3+ jobs while working to sell two books, while raising funds for the feature "Facing East," while working full time on a new show I am producing that I am over the moon excited about (set to hit this fall - details forthcoming this summer.) Oh yeah... single Mom, keeping the house running duties. Blogging? What's blogging? Dating? I dimly remember that. That has been seriously put on a back burner due to (A) Dating Burn Out and (B) the aforementioned list of projects. I need to recharge my batteries (literally ;-) before dating again.

I am stressed - but kind of in a good way. Busy - but happy-ish. I gotta tell you though, I do fantasize, almost daily, about getting massages. Lying face down on a table in that dark room, dim lighting, soft music. Said massage is, of course, administered by Gerard Butler and/or Taye Diggs and it goes on and on, deeper and deeper, for hours on end. (I really am talking about a massage. Although...)

No Where in this fantasy are there snakes slithering on my face and body. I can think of few things worse than that. Seriously, I'd rather have that other kind of massage while hillbillies suck my toes and Snuggles the Demon Fabric Softener Bear gives me all 857 Mormon Missionary Discussions.

A snake massage. Not a chance in hell.



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Ssssssweet Dreams

5 comments:

Jamie said...

And I thought live fish nibbling off calluses was weird. But snakes giving massages? Yikes! What's next? Chimpanzees giving facials? Polar bears giving bikini waxes!? Where does it end!

Rory Cohen said...

OK, so I 'met' you on mutual friend Aimee Mandossian's FB page, and I'm hooked. You are hysterical!!

Anonymous said...

Saw your "Ordinary Mary" video on YouTube -- awesome!!

C. L. Hanson said...

It doesn't seem so bad. But I think I'll stick with yoga. ;)

Brian Hubbs said...

As an author of snake books I take a certain offense at people who have snake phobias (they need to read my books)...but a snake massage does sound a little weird...