I Believe that we are souls that have come to this planet to learn by experience. I personally am a soul that eats that up. I love experience – even when I hate it. I love to experience things in order to learn. In fact, I obviously love it so much that I choose to experience the same freaking things over and over and over so that I can learn the same freaking things over and over and over. Most often this is done in the very hardest way possible. It’s awesome.
Last fall I wrote about this huge “Ah-ha!” I’d had about how I could no longer spend my life marching at the front of someone else’s parade. How my internal scales had been tipped in the wrong direction for far too long. How I could no longer fill my heart with so much passion for gay men that there was no room for the love of a wonderful straight man. And I wrote all about how I was done. And then last week I was mistaken for a drag queen and lovingly reminded that I am, in all actuality, an “honorary homo.”
Glad to see I’ve made such progress.
Note: I do not take offense to those comments in the least. I have said for years that the only explanation for me is that in my last life I was a chain smoking gay man. (I want to be a smoker soooo bad, but that is another topic for another post.) I AM an honorary homo and have always worn that title like a badge of honor. But last week I was given another 2X4 upside the head. Not because I was mistaken for a man but because of a comment left by a close friend on my I Am Now A Big Drag Queen post.
“Dear Lord Emily. This has gone far enough. You have got to retire the baton. Is there some sort of straight man testosterone festival we can send you to? I'm trying to think of a place where lots of available straight men are gathered together and the only thing that comes to mind is a prison. Hmmm, I'll keep working on that...”
All I can say in response is… I know. And it is most definitely time for an intervention. Time to find that glorious straight man testosterone festival of which you speak. Prison? Umm… I’m thinking not so much. But feel free to hog tie and drop me at the nearest firehouse, bowling alley, monster truck rally, Hunting Expo, Nascar-whatever-thingie… you can find.
The scales of my personal life are not quite as tipped as this blog would suggest. I date a lot of straight men - I just learned long ago not to blog about my relationships / love life. I am currently single and love, love, LOVE the straight men. But, if I am being totally honest – and apparently I am – I do use my spot near the head of the Gay Parade to hide from dealing with straight man drama as often as I possibly can. [Sigh.] And I march out of habit.
I just need to get off the damn street for a while because the problem with being an honorary homo is that, unlike the all real homos, I am there pretty much alone. I need to create my own parade. It will definitely have a Homo Float but it will come after the Sexy Straight Man Salute. I will always be passionate and will always care but I guess I need to get my ass out of the gay bars for a while.
And, as for this blog, I hereby commit to balancing it with a million other topics and at least one post about straight men for every post I write about the gay ones.
Geez, and I thought quitting midgets was going to be hard…
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Related Posts:
Letting It Go
Memo From A Fairy Princess.
5 comments:
Save me a place right next to you at the parade.
Hi Emily,
It's Kathleen again. You are too much fun. Consider golfing and skiing. A much higher class of straight men than prisons and monster truck rallies, but plenty of straight men, no doubt about it. And a ski lift line allows you to yell out "single" and then ride up the mountain with any number of interesting people. And you live in Utah for goodness sake! Home to the greatest snow on earth.
Hi Emily,
It's Kathleen again. You are too much fun. Consider golfing and skiing. A much higher class of straight men than prisons and monster truck rallies, but plenty of straight men, no doubt about it. And a ski lift line allows you to yell out "single" and then ride up the mountain with any number of interesting people. And you live in Utah for goodness sake! Home to the greatest snow on earth.
Kathleen, I don't ski. But you got me thinking. What's to stop me from just yelling out "Single!" in a variety of public places?
Could you imagine? :-)
I think it's only understandable why you would feel this way. Obviously, you have a first hand knowledge of the fallout that takes place with right winged organizations, specifically, the LDS church, try to pressure gay men to pretend to be straight men.
A few months ago, my brother made these comments on facebook as he was talking about me to another family member about me.
"Is it just me, or does every single straight person suddenly think they need to be all outspoken about gay pride? I don't know... it seems a little unoriginal."
"Well if it's about the LDS church, brain-washing, improper grammar, gay marriage, Barack Obama, or Fox News, I'll take a pass because I've heard it.
Don't argue with people that live to argue."
To be fair, he has issues with me that go way back. I'm a person with strong opinions and some people don't like people who have strong opinions, no matter what those opinions are. He disliked me just as much when I was a conservative right winger as he does today.
The first time I read what he wrote, I was pissed. But I read it again the other night and it just struck me as hilarious.
I'm a person who has a hard time not speaking up for people who are being oppressed. And my pet issue has become gay rights and gay oppression, especially as it pertains to the LDS church.
Obviously, this must have something to do with the fact that I was deceived for decades about history. I was making progress coming to peace with it. But prop 8 brought a flood of emotions and made me regress a lot as far as my "zen" was concerned.
So while I can understand you thinking you should hand over the baton, I have to say that it's an issue you're passionate about and it's an issue on which you have more personal experience than anyone else I know. You can say "I KNOW why it hurts families when gay men are encouraged to pretend to be straight men." People who claim to be about families need to stop being ignorant insofar as their ignorance hurts families. So I say rant away.
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