I received an email from a man, former LDS bishop of a family friend, a few weeks ago that stunned me. I am honestly still too flabbergasted to respond to him.
...I'm afraid others might misconstrue my question as being other than a sincere question... I understand your concern with what you believe to be the Mormon Church's anti-gay stance. But what I don't understand, is if Proposition 8 had gone favorably toward gay marriage, how would that help gays not contract aids? Is this a dumb, rude or ignorant question? If it is I'm sorry.
Honestly, how does one respond to that question? Is it a dumb, rude and ignorant question? Umm... horrifyingly so. So much so that I cannot possibly respond to him with anything but - are you fucking kidding me? But I can't say that because, admittedly, I now feel held hostage by his niceness and sincerity. Or maybe I just feel sorry for him. Or maybe the anger the question triggers in me is so huge that I have to dismiss it before I allow it to burn the poor guy alive. Or maybe all the above.
But now I have my own questions. Is it okay to mask bigotry and ignorance in niceness? Does that suddenly make it okay? Ignorance is just a cry for education, right? There are plenty of things about which I am embarrassingly ignorant - so many things I don't know that I absolutely should. It should be easy to just reply with a friendly, "Sweetie, AIDS stopped being a gay disease about 20+ years ago. Condoms and responsibility are what help ALL sexually active people not contract AIDS - not just the gays. Thanks for asking." But I can't. This is far too much of an emotional trigger for me. It was that level of ignorance in making and passing laws about basic human rights that made so many of us so angry about Prop 8.
Is it really that hard to think something through and come to an obvious and logical answer? Sadly, for many - including myself, sometimes the answer is yes. I didn't really even know how to truly think for myself, on most topics, until 7-ish years ago. I either looked to what my church taught about it or I just dismissed it. Too much in my life didn't make sense - thinking about it all just made me feel crazier than I already did. But the ability to think is a gift. The ability to stretch and challenge one's mind is something too many of us leave sitting on the dashboard alongside our hula dolls, roach clips and Garfield toys.
Like I said, there are many facts about politics, math, science, geography, history and the workings of the world I live in that I absolutely should know but don't. I have given cause for others to look at me many a time and ask, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I'm doing the best I can, shouldn't I allow others the same? Of course.
But, when it comes to gay marriage causing AIDS or a black president causing an increase in basketball and watermelon consumption - shouldn't we be doing better?
4 comments:
"But what I don't understand, is if Proposition 8 had gone favorably toward gay marriage, how would that help gays not contract aids? Is this a dumb, rude or ignorant question? If it is I'm sorry. "
Uh, well, in simple terms, let me explain it.
IF you believe that AIDS is spread through promiscuity (both sexual and homosexual), then an institution like MARRIAGE which is supposed to promote MONOGAMY would help eliminate the spread of all types of VD, AIDS included. Is this too complicated to understand?
Let's get down to the nitty gritty: I've heard more than one person put it quite simply that gays shouldn't be allowed to get married because they're just far to promiscuous. I resent the generalization very much and think that we should trust each individual couple to know what they are capable of. Why, some people insist that after many years of marriage, people stop having sex altogether! This should bring some comfort to your friend and judge in Israel.
I can understand why this man's letter would leave you feeling floored. But I still think it deserves a response. I think you know a bit more about the topic than he does. Douche.
If Reagan would have done more in the 80s to promote AIDS education, we wouldn't have lost so many lives. Both homosexual and heterosexual.
As the old saying goes, don't attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity. Perhaps the best answer is the simple one: "Sorry but I just don't understand your question. What does marriage have to do with keeping straight people from getting AIDS? Why do you think gay people are any different?"
If he has a brain, he'll understand what a stupid question it is. And if he doesn't, you'll just frustrate yourself trying to educate him.
The BURNING question that needs to be asked of ALL people who are against equality of marriage for those members of our society who are gay, is: "Whatever happened to the GOLDEN RULE? Do unto others as you would have others do unto you!!!!!!!! Or were the "AUTHORITIES" lying when they claimed that Jesus taught this?
Another "STICKY" point for mormondom to fess up to is: For many years the LDS church policy was that they (the leadership/church) were politically neutral, and they encouraged the members to "vote their conscience"!!! So, of all of the issues they (said church) could have picked to become political about
............alternative forms of marriage. A REMINDER to ALL is that POLYGAMY does not qualify under the definition of "ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN"!!!!!!
Polygamy is still very much part of mormon doctrine, history,present and future (the hereafter, etc.)!!!!
So..........."WHAT WOULD JESUS DO/SAY?" Is the question that every MORMON (and ALL other CHRISTIAN folk) should ask themselves, before they vote and before they make ignorant and derogatory statements about anyone!!!!!!!!!
And THESE are the church leaders! Uneducated lay people with no experience in counseling, telling our brothers and sisters that they are going to hell for loving. UUUCCCCCHHHHH.
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