I already mentioned that I was mis-quoted last week in the Deseret News as saying something about gay Mormons being Mormons on their own terms and using the precious phrase "each and every one of us." [Barf.] I had to laugh out loud when I read this entry on Mormon Apologetic & Discussion Board titled "Emily Pearson Distorts Mormonism" with the screaming Simpsons character beneath it. This is only going to be happening more and more and I will soon stop having the energy or desire to address it. But today, I am all over it.
I love the title. This is something that I have gotten used to by now. It still bugs but, whatever... I do not distort MY Mormon experience in the least. My experience being Mormon is my experience and no one can tell me it isn't. I know that individuals that have had a wonderful, and life affirming, experience being Mormon will not agree with me. Why would they? Their experience is their experience. My view of the Mormon Church is NOT distorted - it is merely different and there are many that are horribly threatened by it. Oh well. That's really not my problem. I cannot control how another person is going to feel about, or react to, my sharing of my religious experience.
Uh, what? How is her being "very Mormon" difficult to reconcile with the behaviors of her father and her husband? Uh, yeah. Seriously, you don't even get that a very faithful Mormon who believes all she is taught in church would have a horrible time reconciling the homosexuality of her father and husband with those teachings? Come on.
After all these years I have finally had enough of Mormons that are not gay or have never had a gay spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend... think that they have anything to say on the subject that even matters to those of us that do. Do you really think that we don't know what "God" has to say on the matter? Do you you really think that we haven't bruised our knees in prayer and bloodied our fists pounding on the doors of heaven begging for answers that actually make sense? You can blog and gab parties and at the dinner table and think you know what you're talking about - but you don't. It is not just a fun topic to debate and kick around for us. Prop 8 changed everything. If you don't have personal experience in what it is like for gay Mormons and their loved ones then I don't want to hear it. You have nothing to say that I am interested in hearing for the thousandth time. Trust me.
To me this feels exactly like I'm sitting around listening to people argue back and forth, with all the passion and big words they can muster, about whether or not the world is round. I am baffled that the discussion is still being had. I have been in the boat for decades and have seen that there is no edge to fall off of. And I have stopped caring if others don't get it. Unless you have been on the boat, I don't want to hear it.
The rest of the comments are made about words and phrases I didn't actually say. The reporter and I talked for a few minutes and she put whatever I said in her own words, in a fairly disconnected way. But this happens all the time. It is rare that I have given an interview and been quoted correctly. Welcome to it. And this is just the beginning. When "Dancing With Crazy" is released early next year [more on that soon] this will be happening all the time. If I care, I will address it here. But, chances are I won't care and will just not choose to tangle with the Tar Baby.
One thing they did get right. "Hmm. She sounds like she's advocating defiance of the Church's teachings here." Damn right I am.
Hope to see many of you at the Memorial Service on Sunday.
8 comments:
I am on the boat. Amen!(and thank you)
Haven't been on the boat, but I still support those of you that have been....Can't wait for your book....
I think God might have been misquoted too. I don't know since I don't pretend to talk to him. The messenger only relays what she/he can understand or think will be popular and sell.
If your book is going to be about your truth then "F" the people that don't get it. Not literally of course.
-L
i'm excited for your book. sending love and so much appreciation to you from the depths of provo. really, thank you.
Some of those of us who don't have anything to say on the subject wisely keep our mouth shut (except to ask questions).
But we still need to make sense of this without the crucial ingredient of personal experience. So we have to use the ingredients we do have:
One is information-- from all perspectives and several sources (including spiritual sources if we are into that sort of thing)
Another is the limited experience we do have (which may increase--even dramatically-- at any time). Another is the (often hard to find out of season)will to really consistently care about an issue that isn't in our face all day every day. Another is time to let it all stew.
Another is your book?!
I too, am excited for your book to come out.
It seems that people are often more interested in giving commentary, than really listening and trying to understand.
Playing devil's advocate though, I have to say that I know a handful of good, Mormon people who don't have gay friends or family and have been thoughtful and loving and come to the same conclusion about prop 8 and gays in the church as you and I. Books like your Mom's and probably yours, will be helpful to bridge that lack of personal experience and help grow understanding.
loved hearing you at the memorial service.
"When "Dancing With Crazy" is released early next year [more on that soon]"
Such a tease.
As an aside, I love that I get to click on mormon.org in the google ad on your sidebar. Isn't it hilarious that the church is paying you to write this stuff?
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