The thing I love most about the Mormon culture is that it continues to give me reasons to laugh my ass off.
The daughter of a friend of mine in WA is gearing up, with her Ward, for Girl's Camp. Remember Girl's Camp? I loved it. It supplied many of my favorite teenage memories. The hikes, pranks, skits, the working of leather and beads into never worn again bracelets. The campfires and the silly songs. Uplifting songs that were written especially for camp and goofy songs that were either original or just lyrics added to already existing tunes. Like this sweet little ditty forwarded by my friend. A hopeful love song, if you will, sung by freckle faced, pre-pubescent Mormon girls about eternal marriage and the virtues of the holy priesthood of God. To the tune of Baby Got Back.
I like Mormon boys and I cannot lie,
You other sisters can't deny,
When a boy walks in with scriptures in his hands
And a big smile on his face you get a date,
A celestial mate.
Someone to call your own and hold your hand,
And take a stand
For you.
So teachers, preachers, we don't like your features,
So Mormon boys,
Mormon boys,
Bring on the priesthood yeah!
HUH!
(The "Huh!" is accentuated, by the way, with a hearty pelvic thrust.)
Baby Got Back. A song about guys with their erect anacondas having all night sex with girls that have big, round, thick and juicy, in your face, butts.
WTF???
7 comments:
Those lyrics are mega creepy.
"The hikes, pranks, skits, the working of leather and beads into never worn again bracelets. The campfires and the silly songs."
All the reasons I hated it. I'm sure you weren't one of those girls that made girl's like me - life a living hell at girls camp though.
Ugh, I hadn't thought about that crap in a long, long time.
And yeah, that song is way creepy. I don't think they realize just how laughable they are.
Creepy, and high-larious!
This is my favorite version of "Baby Got Back."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltjbnyvq_SI
RP:
Okay, I'm sorry, but doesn't the fact that you (or anyone) can say that there were girls that made other girls lives a "living hell" at Girl's Camp speak volumes??? Jesus gets lost in SO MUCH of the church's practices and policies.
Geez - Girls' Camp is one of my happy memories of time spent Mormon. Sorry you don't have even that.
You must, must! send those lyrics to Michele. We, for some reason, were obsessed with that song back when it came out and she will appreciate (or be horrified) by the lyrics. Hilarious, yet... disturbing! Honestly, they force these poor girls to wear "shorts" down to their ankles in the heat of the summer (because nothing says "slut" like shorts one inch above the knee) and then turn around and think that song is cute? I'm so confused!
Emily:
I think the leaders in the area that I grew up used girls camp as a 'missionary' opportunity, so some not so nice people would come. And then of course, when they acted snotty the leaders couldn't tell them to knock that crap off because if the girls went home and told their parents that they got talked to at girls camp then nobody in their family would EVER go to church.
Hrrmmph.
And I think it was extremely entertaining for the laurels to be mean to the beehives. They scared the (beh) Jesus right out of me, that's for sure.
Small town rural Utah can suck my ass.
"Small town rural Utah can suck my ass."
Best sentence EVER.
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