So, by now you all probably know that our great state of Utah leads the country in the largest population of Internet porn surfers. The thought of all those righteous Mormons sneakin a peek makes me laugh out loud and, actually, doesn't surprise me at all. I've also been told that Utah has among the highest numbers of anti-depressant users, domestic violence, bankruptcy and suicide of young men between the ages of 15-24. Utah is supposedly third in the nation among female meth addicts. Awesome.
We are also up there in the overweight category - probably because we also, apparently, win in the most fry sauce, most tubs of Snelgrove's ice cream and, of course, most green jello with shredded carrot categories. Okay, I know that we joke about Mormons and green jello but the unbelievably lame fact that Utah really does eat giant amounts of the stuff makes me kinda glad for all the porn. Restores the balance somehow.
Of course Mormons are sneaking the porn! The Church's teachings about sex plop most of them in a freaking sexual pressure cooker. They are human and it is a forbidden fruit. It is there and it is pleasing to the eye and they are reminded every time they turn around not to think about it. We all know that if we are told not to think about something, or not to do something, over and over it becomes more and more the only thing we want to do or think about. No one is telling me not to look at porn and just the fifteen minutes I have spent, thus far, writing this post has made me totally want to hunker down with a carton of Snelgrove's and watch "A Marvelous Boob and a Bootie." The power of suggestion, Baby.
Big surprise - I am not in the camp of those that think porn is evil. I do think it can be addicting and problematic and cause warping and frighteningly unrealistic sexual expectations. But, to me, those aren't even the worse things about porn.
You want to know the real problem I have with porn? It totally sucks! The writing, acting, lighting, directing... Oh my God, the few times I have been around it I totally forgot that it was supposed to be arousing because I was too busy throwing my shoes and yelling at the screen. In one, a couple was on a blanket in a park and, I am not kidding, a fly landed on the guy's butt.
I had this conversation with a friend who assured me that other countries make beautiful, well lit porn. Okay, fine. Whatever. But, honestly, I don't even have time to watch any of the hundreds of real films I am dying to see. Privates of the Caribbean is just going to have to wait.
Maybe I'll check out the porn when I'm seventy. That's when I plan on having time to garden too. Until then I'll leave it to the good folks of Utah and their family values.
10 comments:
Not sure about the other figures, but Utah is actually not even in the top 10 in rate of bankruptcy.
You've probably talked about this before and I've just missed it, but...why do you stay in Utah?
When combining stats for both overweight and obesity rates, Utah is the 4th LEAST overweight/obese state in the U.S. in 2007. Utahns also ranked as the most healthy Americans based on qualitative survey responses.
Utah has the 11th highest rate of suicides among 15-24 year old males in the U.S. and ranks 30th for females in the same age group. Western U.S. states among the top 12 states with the highest suicide rate among this age group are New Mexico, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and Idaho (in order from highest rate to lowest rate). All suicide data is from 2005.
Jay - I'm not sure where you are getting your data from, but using available data from 2001-2003, Utah ranks 1st in bankruptcies per household. See this data. This has been covered extensively in the media.
Why do I stay in Utah? I've tried to get out several times. I blogged about the latest. If you're interested, you can check out posts "The Winds They Are A Changing," "Decision Making," and "100 Questions: #4 Going Back."
Wiggins, can I have your brain?
The problem of porn use in the Church is interesting. Every Bishop and SP I've known as a friend in the last few years has at one time or another told me they were shocked at what a huge problem it is. But what happens if they can't get it under control? The current system of dealing with it doesn't seem to be working...
Wiggins - Very interesting stats on obesity and suicide - I had a feeling that Utah wasn't as high on those lists as that post had indicated.
On bankruptcy stats, you may want to check out some fresher numbers. Utah hasn't been number one for quite some time, and is making its way toward the middle of the pack.
See this data.
Also here and here.
Geez Wiggins, get your own blog and blog the facts if they are so wrong on DWC!
Aww... don't pick on Wiggins. I wuv him.
Jay - Thanks for the links. I was trying to find raw data that was more recent, but I don't have access to the paid database that I assume is the source for these reports.
Anonymous - The OP was about porn and Em was right on the money. The OP said "I've also been told..." so I was solely chiming in to "tell" some corroborating and some contradicting data. No correction was ever needed. Even the contradicting data on weight and obesity doesn't necessarily contradict thee statement that "We [Utahns] are also up there in the overweight category." Have you looked around at Utahns lately? A lot of overweight or obese people. Relative to the rest of the U.S., Utah isn't so bad, but is that really saying that much? Do you know where Utah ranks relative to the world? I'll assume from your comment that you don't really want to know.
I think Utah's ranking in suicide rates for certain groups is highly significant and I hope we see a related post here someday. 11th doesn't sound too high initially, but look at the Intermountain West relative to the rest of the country. Something--I'll give you one guess as to what--is rotten in the state of Utah (and the Intermountain West in general).
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