I very much believe in the old adage "Know Thyself." To truly know one's self is the greatest of life long endeavors. So, to start the new year I decided to do a little digging into my psyche in order to become familiar with some of the more hidden facets of my personality and here is what, rather who, I discovered...
I am a Rocker named Mercedes Uranus.
A Stripper named Raquelle Ropecream.
A Jedi named Peaem Stpro of the planet Valium.
A Crazy-Weird Shakespearean Wench named Ophelia the Banana Lover.
A Nerd named Darla, the Logo Hacker.
A Mexican Wrestler named La Cobra Más Sexy.
A Pirate named Noseless Nadine Scabb.
A Prison Bitch named Fudge Sucker. (Which even I think is absolutely gross.)
A 1960s Gay Romance Novel named The Abnormal Lesbians of Perversion.
A Penis named Guy Smiley the Ultrasonic Protrusion.
And a Redneck Superhero named Mullet Girl.
All of this vital introspection reminded me that I am also a 40 Year Old Single Mother named Emily Pearson who has FAR less time on her hands than this post would suggest. But, I do think it is important to know if one is a Vampire named Princess of Transylvania, aka: Her of the Horned One, aka: Sworn to One More Ancient Than the Devil. Which, interestingly enough, was also my Mormon Temple Name.
I think they are still working on the website for that name generator.
5 comments:
All your different personalities made me think of this:
http://blogs.usatoday.com/popcandy/2009/01/take-a-peek-at.html?csp=34
I watched it the other day - pretty funny. Of course, I'd watch a 90 minute infomercial on adult diapers if Toni Collette were in it.
Damn you for violating that promise to never reveal the secret name. God will punish you by forcing you to live in Utah. Ooops, my bad. You're already there. There really isn't a worse punishment that god can come up with. He'll/she'll have to sit on that one for a while.
This post made me lawl. Tres awesome.
So is that pronounced Ur-ay-nus or u-ran-us?
Three words: I. LOVE. YOU.
By the way, your temple name is waaaaay cooler than mine. I have Temple Name Envy. Which I think may break that coveting commandment. Damn...
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