Last week in the Daily Herald, a Utah County paper (Utah County being a place that I would advise visiting only under heavy sedation), there was an article that read "Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants... Don Larsen, chairman of legislative District 65 for the Utah County Republican Party, had submitted a resolution warning that Satan's minions want to eliminate national borders and do away with sovereignty."
Oh My Hell. Seriously???
Okay let's, for a moment, dig down deep and summon the ability to put aside the ass-head comments that he made about illegal immigrants "hating American people," being "in control of the media" and "working in tandem with Democrats trying to destroy Christian America and replace it with a godless new world order" - which, according to an apparently very teary Larsen, is not "extremism" but "fact." We could possibly throw back a few shots and numb ourselves to that brilliance but, come on people, Satan?!?!
I ask you, what the hell is wrong with a County, in this century, when during a freakin' political convention a Republican speaker, identified only as "Joe," gets up and seriously argues that "illegal immigrants are Marxist and under the influence of the devil?"
Now, I am a woman who was taught as an early teenager in my Young Women's Class at church that I was surrounded by at least 30-40 evil spirits that had been assigned specifically to me and would be working around the clock to bring about my personal destruction until the day I died. I had hands placed on my head by "one holding the proper priesthood authority" and was told that I had been so valiant in the pre-existent war in heaven, and had brought so many souls to Christ, that Satan himself was working to bring me down. This was not remotely good for a girl with a fair amount of OCD to hear. I spent, at least, the next twenty five years of my life being terrified all the time and obsessively repeating to myself, "In the name of Jesus Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ..." Can we say "Crazy making?"
Fortunately, my belief in Satan went to hell along with my belief in both God's absolute power over me and that one guy that put his face in a hat. Now the only Lord of Darkness that I remotely believe in is on Southpark. He rocks. But I really don't think he's got it together enough to be in cahoots with those pesky illegals. Maybe it's Ellen DeGeneres. Her almighty lesbian self hosting a nationally televised award show was given credit for the attacks on Sept 11. Talk about powerful. She is a gay and so, I'm guessing, might be one of those evil Democrats herself. But she seems too busy happily dancing on her show to be be leading armies of illegals. Where would she find the time? So, if it's not Ellen and Satan doesn't actually exist, then who is programming those immigrants to destroy Christian America and replace it with a godless new world order?
Probably that damned Tooth Fairy.
1 comments:
Did you have to remind me of those words they state when giving blessings (or was it baptism, patriarchal blessings), etc. I worried myself sick over evil--and being good enough.
When I found out my boyfriend was gay, I had pictured in my mind this horrible monster. If I didn't talk to him or see him on a regular basis (only hours at a time), I had this horrible vision of this evil, evil monster who had come into my life. I'd call him on the phone, hear his voice, and think, "This person is NOT a monster." (Yes, I drove him nuts this way.) I was certain that if I left the LDS church, I would cycle down into a perverted, evil, drunk--living in a gutter somewhere, not being able to control my desires (for anything). AMAZING how freeing it is to realize you are YOU and being mormon isn't making you "good."
AND, no matter what he says--as I don't believe it, aren't a lot of these illegal immigrants actually CATHOLIC (let alone all the mormon Hispanics we have living in Utah).
Post a Comment