When Did The Kool Aid Guy Start Wearing Pants?

Sometimes temp work is a great way to supplement your income or pay bills while you are selling your latest book. And sometimes it can make you feel like you want to eat your own head.

I am doing the most ridiculous thing I have ever done for money in my life. I am standing in the bottled water aisle of an Albertson's grocery store waiting for someone, anyone, to walk by, actually put bottled water in their carts, and then ask them if they would be willing to take a 10 minute - 6 page survey that will then ask them the stupidest questions ever posed about how, when and why they chose that particular bottled water.

I am doing this in a store where hardly anyone even walks down that aisle, let alone picks up any freakin' water, FOR EIGHT HOURS A DAY!!! There is no table or stool to sit on and I am not allowed to "lean" against anything. After 15 minutes I am bored out of my mind so I mix it up a bit and turn around to stare at the Kool Aid. When did he start wearing pants? After 5 minutes of thinking of every funny thing I could do with all the food around me, 5 more minutes thinking of every sexual thing that I could do with all the food around me, and mentally willing the loud speaker to announce a clean up on Aisle 3, I am ready to scream. I will do anything to feed my kids, but come on...

If anyone gets bored please come to the Albertson's on 4500 South and Highland Drive in Holladay, Utah, head straight to aisle 5, and shoot me in the head.

Maybe I should call one of the hunters I met at the expo. My horns aren't as large as those mountain sheep that you pay $175,000 to shoot but I promise to make it worth your while. For $50,000 I'll run and hide in crafty places. For $75,000 I'll even scream a lot and dive into the meat cooler.

Anything would be better than standing staring at bottled water, Kool Aid and cheese whiz for eight hours a day. Seriously...