The Secret Saved My Life

This is an honest to God real book review on Amazon. Best review of a book I have ever read. And, the fact that it was written about The Secret gave me Happygasms all over. Val, this made my day!

The Secret Saved My Life
By Ari Brouillette

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.

Friday Video: Apache (Tommy Seebach)

The lead singer. Oh. My. God. There is not enough alcohol in the WORLD...

National Hug A Mormon Day

According to Facebook, today is National Hug A Mormon Day. The event page states "This is a day when you need to hug as many Mormons you know! This is just for fun so please be respectful and go out there and hug as many Mormons as you can! Oh, and invite as many people as you can!!!!!" OMG and LOL!

As many Mormons as I know??? Seriously??? Here in Utah, that is a freaking all day service project. I'll hug my kids and call it a day. I'm personally saving up for Orgasm Day. Now if it were National Goose a Mormon Day and I was allowed to be disrespectful... Hang on...

Okay, who's up for National Jell-O Wrestle a Mormon Day?

Mark Morford: Sex Tape Tips From Carrie Prejean

Remember when I rabidly disagreed with self righteous and homophobic puppet Miss California Carrie Prejean - but at least gave her a nod for having the balls to not talk out of both sides of her mouth? Well, it turns out she's been doing something else out of both sides of her mouth. On tape. 7+ times...

Leave it to my like minded, equally smart assed, hero Mark Morford to mock her in the manner in which she should now be accustomed.

Bless her heart. And her coochie.

Party In The Pig Pen

Hey, Utahans, did you read the Tribune headlines today? "Buttars: An Unlikely Ally For Gays?

All together now - Bah-hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

See Internetland, we don't need to be angry. All we need is a bucket of hot buttered popcorn as we kick back and enjoy the circus. Chris Buttars a gay ally? Hardly. How wonderful is it that this crusty curmudgeon of a pig sex lovin' gay basher has had his tangerines put in a vice and squeezed by those in the Big Building who are being similarly juiced?

Oh, the glee. Pass the M&M's.

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Related links:
Pig Sex
Poster Children

Help Jem Crash The Superbowl

Okay, my oh-so-talented singer songwriter friend Jem, sister to my other oh-so-talented singer songwriter friend Yestin, has directed a commercial that she entered in the "Crash the Superbowl" contest. She had to come up with a 30 sec spot for Doritos which she purposely shot in a low budget / home movie style. If it wins it will be shown during the Superbowl. Totally cool...

They are judging soon and it will help to have as many hits as possible. So... CLICK HERE TO VIEW. It takes a minute to download so be patient (there is also a small "skip intro" button at the bottom right.) She got several rude comments from women whose thongs were clearly flossing them a little too aggressively and who also thought she was a man and a pig. I think the spot is hilarious. Pass it along and enjoy!

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Related links:
Jem's Official Website
Yestin and Glass Pear

Positively Pissed

I have gotten more comments and emails on my last post than any other. It seems I am not the only angry person on the planet. Go figure. There are many ex-Mormons / gay individuals that are tired of the fury, tired of letting their anger fester, but cannot figure out how to let it go. I was asked if it helped me to take up a cause. Sure it did, but that is because my Homo vs. Momo anger was very issue specific. Of course it helped me enormously to rant and rave and march and speak out. But what about anger that is a little more general? Will it really help ex-Mormons to work through their anger by making signs and marching on Ward houses every Sunday? Maybe, but only a little. (If you do, please wear costumes and take pictures – then return and report. I beg of you)

What about anger that is focused on something other than [gasp] a religion? All human beings have cause to be angry at something. Be it a religion, a government, a parent, friend, sibling, spouse, former spouse or lover, teacher, roommate, neighbor… We all get angry. Welcome to being human. I don’t think there is anything wrong with feeling anger. It is certainly healthier than depression and it does assist us in looking at things that we might otherwise ignore. Often anger is our deep down guts trying to tell us, teach us, something. It can be our inner selves screaming that something is wrong, that something is out of alignment. Anger makes us feel powerful in the face of something that we once felt, or currently feel, powerless to control. We are usually angry about something that has caused us great pain.

Feeling and experiencing anger is not the problem – it is being unable to move through it, to do something about it and to create something new out of it. It is getting stuck in it and setting up permanent housekeeping on Angry Ave. that becomes the problem.

Here’s how I see it. You’re angry. Okay, great, feel it. Voice it. Have a conversation with it. Out loud. “I am pissed off at --- because it makes me feel ---.” ‘I am pissed off at --- because it hurt me.” Feel the anger and feel the pain without making yourself wrong. Because you’re not wrong. Not at all.

Go running, lift weights, beat the hell out of your couch or bed with a plastic baseball bat. (I, personally, believe this item should be owned by every human being.) Get it out. Have a good cry. It’s not gone? Well, duh. It will be there as long as it’s there. You will feel it as long as you need to feel it. Get angry and then get up and do something about it.

If it gets you to take positive action – great. Feel it and tell yourself, “This anger feels good because it makes me feel ----.” And then, here is the vital part, close your eyes and breathe deeply and imagine how amazing it is going to feel when you no longer feel that anger. Take a few minutes and feel how incredible that freedom will feel. Tell yourself, “I am so excited for the day I no longer feel this anger. I have no freaking idea how I am going to get there, but I can’t wait to find out.” And then go on with your day.

As long as anger is something that we allow to flow through us in order to heal and affect change (rather than something we ball up and store in our guts like a two years supply of food) and as long as we don’t resist it and wrestle too unnecessarily with it and allow ourselves to become angry people, then it is serving its purpose. It is what it is and will be gone when it’s gone. The day will come when you will suddenly grow tired of lugging it around, when you have finally learned and become, and will find that putting it down and walking away is almost effortless.

I promise.